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Jon Osburn and OOIDA’s Tour Truck, the Spirit of the American Trucker, are at the Russell’s Truck and Travel Center in Glenrio, N.M. That’s located at Exit 369 on Interstate 40. Stop in, say hi to Jon, and join OOIDA for a $10 discount. See the full Spirit Schedule. Air date: Nov. 22, 2017.

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Scared? You will be soon …

The season of scare is upon us. So in honor of Trick-or-Treaters everywhere, here’s a list of things to be scared of:

  • People who think EOBRs or ELDs, or whatever the heck you’re calling them now, will solve anything other than the sales figures of companies that make EOBRs, or ELDs, or – well, you get the picture.
  • Clowns
  • People driving trucks who never had any training and found their CDL in a box of Cracker Jacks – or went to some of the CDL mills I’ve seen, which (from what I can tell) is pretty much the same thing.
  • The government of Kansas.
  • Silly trucking research that people actually believe.
  • That nightmare I’ve had about Joan Claybook running around a truck stop waving a baseball bat over her head while screaming incoherently.
  • The inevitable Christmas light shortage (it could happen).
  • More clowns.
  • All the people I’ve met behind the wheel who have millions of safe miles, never, ever caused an accident, and even save people at the roadside – all of them, suddenly deciding to retire, all on the same day.
  • Garden fresh food (process it, hermetically seal it and ship it across state lines, I say!).
  • People in other cars.
  • Counterfeit parts.
  • Parts that are not counterfeit, but just stink.
  • The people who make the good parts running out.
  • Truck parks delivered by clowns (No, I’m not letting go of this one).
  • Bridges that claim to be “safe and sound” when they clearly are not.
  • Potholes bigger than my car.
  • Cars that have way too many dents, but are still on the road (If you have more dents than I have Christmas lights, there’s probably a reason for that).
  • Fast food hamburgers.
  • Clowns who advertise fast-food hamburgers (Try to tell me you didn’t see that one coming).
  • Sneaky toll roads that send you a bill in the mail (plays havoc with my budget).
  • Cargo thieves.
  • Finally having enough parking spaces in the United States, but they’re all in a remote corner of North Dakota (On the other hand, go North Dakota!).
  • My grocery store running out of stuff because all of you decided to take a day off.
  • People who text while they drive.
  • Clowns I have not mentioned yet.

Admittedly, it’s a partial list. But I think that’s more than enough to think about.

Happy Halloween!

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